I am tired, y’all. All of the time. It seems that along with this baby has come my new arch nemesis…insomnia.
I have always been a very light sleeper, but when Jon and I got married, I had to learn to sleep through his (and Ralph’s, for that matter) snoring. In fact, before I got pregnant (and just couldn’t sleep from being generally uncomfortable), I was sleeping great! There was still the occasional time that Jon’s snoring would wake me up, but it was nothing like it is now.
I can’t remember the last time that I was able to fall asleep before at least 1 a.m. We are generally in bed shortly after Hadley goes down (so around 10 or 10:30)…Jon falls asleep faster than I can count 5, 4, 3, 2…snoooorrrrrrreeeee. I know it is not his fault and that he definitely can’t help it—he’s tried breathe right strips, changing pillows, position, etc…and nothing helps. Plus, I used to sleep through it just fine! Part of it, I know, is that I just cant get my brain to turn off. When I finally do fall asleep however many hours later, all it takes is one loud snore and I’m back awake again…and I have to start the whole falling asleep process all over again. I will admit that there have been several nights where I am frustrated to tears because I am SO tired, I just can’t fall asleep!!
On one hand, I feel like this could just be the universe’s cruel, cruel way of saying “Oh, your baby has slept through the night since only a few weeks old? That’s great, but you can’t.” On the other hand, I wonder if part of it could just be that I am subconsciously always wanting to make sure that I hear H if she cries out during the night (which almost never happens…heck, I’m awake anyway so it’s not like I wouldn’t hear her!). As a result of all this, I am probably averaging somewhere around 5 or 6 hours of sleep on any given night. I think I might be ok of it was “good sleep”—but it’s more like an hour here, 2 hours there…and it is just NOT enough for this mama who, pre-baby, needed at least 8.5-9 hours of sleep to feel really good. I know that the days of getting THAT much sleep are probably long gone (hello, motherhood), and I’m ok with that…but something has got to give!
I’m honestly not sure what the solution is. I probably would sleep better if I slept by myself, but Jon and I have only been married for 5 years—how sad would it be if we slept in separate beds already?! I mean, I don’t ever want to do that! I guess I am (slowly) getting used to functioning on less sleep, but that doesn’t mean that I like it. My dad and all of his siblings all suffer from sleep problems, and have for years…so I guess I get it honest. I just hope I am able to get something figured out soon!
Until then, I’ll be here with my Diet Dr. Pepper…and wishing I liked coffee!! It’s a good thing I have this sweet girl to keep me going! ;)